DT Year In Review: 2022

Sunday 11th December. 12:45PM. Sitting peacefully in solitude at Whale Beach, basked in the sun and listening to the soothing yet viscous waves crash.

The year 2022 has been a blessed one. It was the year of the tiger and the year I was turning 24. Both of which made it a bit more special (I’m big on making your zodiac year “count” and 24 was a homage to my favourite role model - the late Kobe Bryant). In trying to make this year memorable and one where I could look back and tell myself it was a turning point, I romanticised how life would unfold for me.

While the romanticised year that was filled with dreams of kickstarting side projects that would form as passive income and thriving in the startup world; fell short, the lessons in these “shortfalls” have been indispensable to where I am at this present moment and will continue to be for years to come. I’m not the one to usually say I’m proud of myself. Maybe it’s the Stoic in me. Maybe it’s me being the hard critic that I am. But I am going to finally say that I’m proud of myself for  the year that has been; not because of the tangible achievements - but because of the compound growth that I’ve undergone.

Side note, I am going to try take these yearly reflections a bit more seriously to ensure a consistent measuring stick is kept for myself.

Offer the world something that is true to you

The biggest lesson that has compounded this past year has been this idea that we all have something to offer the world. Some call it purpose. Others call it passion or even ikigai. I even remember a Lyft driver I met during my solo travels that called it your cookie, alluding to the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street and how all he was committed to was the love for cookie.

Key word - committed. I think having passion is naive and quite frankly, not enough. Similar to how love is not enough for relationships to thrive; and that its commitment and consistent actions that matter most; commitment to our passion and the transformation from thought to action are what matters. Naval has the following quote:

“The universe is rigged in such a way that if you just want one thing and you focus on that, you will get it.”

What’s even more interesting is that sometimes the things we’re passionate about are right in front of us. We tell ourselves we want certain things but sometimes they’re actually not what we truly desire. We want things because they help validate this idea we want the world to have of us.

This was a key learning for me this year, where I was distracted in trying to pursue things for inauthentic reasons. Things such as building no-code apps because I wanted to label myself as an indie hacker worked closely in the startup world. I felt the need to prove to people that I had  “acquired” knowledge in how to ship no-code products and find product-market fit. In hindsight, much of this was ego driven as I wanted to fulfil the narrative in my head.

However, the thing that truly awoken my passion and curiosity was was standing right in front of me. Photography.

I told myself that I wanted to have something that allowed me to express my interests and voices creatively, and yet I overlooked photography in place of the presumption that starting a no-code app was “sexier” and more “respectable” .

Another point worth raising is that romanticising our passions can be dangerous. When we focus on the end outcomes, either as a byproduct of looking at other people for inspiration or thinking of the north star to remind ourselves on; we can find ourselves doing completely drastic and almost unrealistic shifts to our lifestyle. This can be quitting our jobs or spending an insane amount of money on equipment. The truth is that monetising our passions comes later. We just need to just do and see what will come of it slowly but surely.

Explore and exploit but know when to double down

Upon reflecting the above point, I think there’s value in being curious first and exploring the options. James Clear refers this to explore and exploit, but one thing that’s missing is that at a certain point in time, we need to know when to double down. Only then will we be able to build something that will compound over time.

Jack Butcher and Naval both refer it to leverage, but this is something we will never find if we keep bouncing from passion to passion. Leverage only comes when we focus our energy on the one thing; or as Kobe puts it, the secret to life is

For me, I think figuring out what to double down on starts with understanding what you see yourself doing in the long run.

What do you think will stand the test of time for you?

Seth Godin puts it in a great way in one of my favourite books read this year, The Practice:

“Everyone today is trying to find a hack to making it. When you see where you want to be, you can’t unsee it. And thats the problem with today’s era... People don’t commit themselves to a long game; trying to achieve quick wins. “

Priorities over balance

Now more than ever, work life balance has been advocated with work from home arrangements and hustle culture being more prevalent. Currently, I’d say that much of society views work life balance as this ratio containing multiple areas of life, where we are obliged to assign ‘x’ amount of hours to each area such in a way that no area falls of the balanced scales.

However, this version work life balance is flawed, and something I’ve learned from a Jay Shetty podcast episode with Neha Kumar is that it is much more important to invest our energy and time in proportion to what is most important to us at the present moment.

Self- forgiveness needs to be practised when we fall short of the things that society tells us we need to balance. If those things are being compromised (for the short-term) at the expense of us giving our full attention to what matters most, then I think we should be okay with that.

Be protective (but not selfish) with your time and energy

It goes without saying that we are what and who we give attention to - also known as the 5 Chimps Theory (there’s a great podcast episode by Tim Ferris). If you know me, I’m a big fan of dedicating time for solitude. For me, solitude helps me ground my thoughts and feelings and recentre myself so I can respond to these emotions with the appropriate mindset shift and/or action. Prioritising this leads to you protecting your time; which is great until you begin devaluing your loved ones.

This was something I found myself stumbling on, especially with my partner. There’s a difference between protecting your time and being selfish about it. The latter is often associated when you fail to learn when to forego your solitude during times when people need you.

Success can be measured through impact on people you love

A big hurdle this year for me was overcoming imposter syndrome, especially seeing the rise of Instagram reels and the growth of other creatives online. Overwhelmed and doubtful, your unique definition of success becomes blurred as you become focused on the outcomes of others. Of course, many of us know that social media makes us compare our everyday lives with the highlights of others; but that’s easier said than done especially when you’re a high achiever.

One way I found useful in overcoming these doubts was this idea raised by Dwayne Wade in a podcast episode with Jay Shetty. This idea that if your work means something to the people you love then thats all that matters. While this may be limiting, I try use this as a reminder to ground myself in times when doubt clouds my confidence.

Speaking of love, I’ve also learned a thing or two when it comes to loving our parents, particularly if you have Asian immigrant parents. Inspired by the words of Simu Liu, we can love our parents in our own unique ways. We don’t necessarily have to meet their expectations in terms of who they want us to be but we can love them by doing the real hard work of listening and talking to them, and understanding their trauma.

The importance of routine and a second brain

This seems like a “duh” lesson but the busyness of this year definitely swept me off my feet. In admiring the “wu wei” life and idea of finding flow, I lost almost all discipline that I once had.  Good habits are no doubt a critical factor in life, but what’s more important is that routine helps create the space and time that is needed for the critical thinking and intellectual power demanded in other areas of life.

I also came across the works of Tiago Forte and his notion of the second brain - this “methodology for saving and systematically reminding us of the ideas, inspirations, insights, and connections we’ve gained through our experience”

Life happens in fractal patterns

There’s a great line I saw that goes something like “Eat the fruit when its ripe”. There’s been so much I’ve learned and while action is the best way to crystallise these leanings, it’s also okay if you don’t take any action… at least not now. This aligns with something I heard in a Modern Wisdom episode featuring Tiago Forte around the concept - “convergence of life”. Forte explains how some lessons come back to us later in life - we may learn something right then and there but we don’t necessarily need to apply that lesson.

Looking ahead

If I was to summarise the year that was 2022, I’d say it was a homecoming year. A year that was marked by me coming back to my true self. A year where I finally backed my talents and wisdom. Going into the new year, I feel so ready to create and share my work and learnings - in a way that is true to me. I'm ready to love the people the way they deserve to be loved. I'm ready to have an even bigger year.